epiphany

When I was a teenager, I used to frequently have these moments I referred to in my head as “epiphanies”. They were kind of like that scene in the movie ‘V for Vendetta‘ when all these memories from different sources swirl through Finch’s mind simultaneously and suddenly he realizes the truth about the Three Waters incident. I really loved these moments, where it felt like my mind had synthesized assorted pieces of information and … actually, I just looked up the definition of epiphany and it sums it up quite nicely:

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

I don’t have epiphanies nearly as often as I used to. I attribute this to a combination of the ordinary stresses of adulthood, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, poor nutritional choices, killing off large numbers of brain cells with alcohol, shortened attention span after a decade of social media use, and reading less fiction. But who really knows; I’m no neuroscientist.

You may be aware that I quit my full-time job as a travelling software consultant last June. My plan had been to take the summer off, rest, recuperate, catch up on a million different things, reconnect with friends, and then get to work on something where I felt more appreciated than I did on my last project. I was seriously considering starting my own business; I love the idea of working for myself, and working from home. Only trouble was… I couldn’t think of a theme for my business. But I figured if I just gave myself some time, an idea would come to me sooner or later.

Sooner turned into later, and later still. I kept myself busy with assorted volunteer and activism projects, and the catching up on a million different things turned out to take a LOT longer than I ever would have imagined. As a matter of fact, I only finished catching up on all the email in my three email accounts last week! It was starting to look like I was going to have to give up on waiting for inspiration for an idea for my own business, and I started looking for a job similar to my last one. That did not exactly make my spirit soar.

Then, the middle of last week: EPIPHANY!!! It was a lot like the V for Vendetta scene, too, only with fewer diseased children and more zombie movie references. I suddenly realized where my passion, my talents (some of them, anyway), and a market niche intersected. And here it is, nine months to the day since the last day I worked for “the man” and fed Leviathan the blood money it demands (i.e. had taxes deducted out of my paycheck). We have a baby! Actually, I had a followup epiphany yesterday for another possible money-making scheme, and now my head is so full of things to plot and scheme and do I hardly know which way to turn. We have twins!!

Now you’re probably expecting me to start discussing my business idea. Well… I’m not gonna. Sorry. I’m honestly not trying to be a tease, I just prefer to get started on it before showing it to you.

Speaking of money-making… I somewhat surreptitiously added a Donate page to this here blog; you should see its tab in the grey bar on top, right next to the About page. I did this because several people have insisted that they enjoy my writing enough that “people” would be willing to pay for it. So… have at it, “people”! I now accept donations via both PayPal and Bitcoin. I feel really weird asking for donations; I basically have spent a lifetime cultivating an anti-self-promotional demeanor wherein I attempt to appear as harmless and inconspicuous as possible. This has served me well many times while navigating the streets of assorted large cities alone on foot. Doesn’t work so well when going to clubs and parties and hoping to meet guys, though (derp). Or climbing the corporate ladder (double derp). So, here’s me looking you in the eye… erm, monitor…. smiling brightly, and exclaiming “Donations graciously accepted!” Cuz I live in New Hampshire, we’re supposed to get up to 16 inches of snow the day after tomorrow, I’ve got a heating fuel bill for $778.24 staring at me balefully beside the laptop, and it’s really hard to type when your hands freeze. Editorial aside/sabotage of weak attempt at self-promotional fundraising: don’t worry, I will be able to pay the heating bill. But if you donate, maybe I can buy a cookie too! I can also focus on giving my long-awaited business idea a genuine effort, as opposed to half-assing it while simultaneously and grumpily looking for a job.

Thank you for your consideration!

One thought on “epiphany

  1. Sandy, the idea of being “free” isn’t that you make your labor free to others forever. I slightly better idea is libertarianism in which you put yourself (your ideas) out there and, without demanding something for something, you simply offer a statement that people may donate on your site if they choose to. I would think it’s shameful to profess to be “free” and then make a website pay-to-see, but do not dislike the idea of a subscription site if that might become necessary because of economic pressures, because people who like and want your information are free to subscribe, libertarian-style. You wouldn’t be forcing them. And we all have to live. In a perfect world, we would all have choices about how we spend our money.
    It is possible to have a site where certain info is subscriber-only, and another is free, it things come to that. I assume you’re young, I’m old and think differently than I did decades ago. The experience I’ve had says “do you thing but don’t give away your ideas or your best work”. Sharing the biltong info, which could be found elsewhere, isn’t giving away, but some folks might not have found it had it not been for you. If they wish to give a donation, don’t feel strange about that, you helped and they’d like to say thanks. Seriously, do you have twin babies? Put the money into their college fund.

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